Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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