Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
