the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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