last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
