New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
