I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
