we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
