This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
