Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
