I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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