Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
