Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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