If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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