Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
