No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
