did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Its about making memories worth repressing
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
