The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
