Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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