I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
