she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
