I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
