I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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