Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have post one night stand depression
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