Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just cropdusted the office
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize