there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
