Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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