Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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