There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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