I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
