I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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