Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
