I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
