I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize