Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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