Dual....:-)
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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