talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
