I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
