it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
