it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
