My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
