Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
