The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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