is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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