That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
