went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
