so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize