how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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