There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize