Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
