Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
