Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
