how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
my liver is dry heaving
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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