Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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