Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize