yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
