so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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