I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
