You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
