She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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