a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
