OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
